jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear:
I feel like if the rogues ever got in a fight with each other but didn’t want to have shoot outs or extreme violence they’d passive aggressively call the police on each other like
‘GCPD, what’s your emergency?’
‘Hello? Yes, I’d like to inform you that Edward Nigma is going to rob the Gotham City Bank at 8 pm tomorrow.’
‘Alright, and what’s your name?’
‘This is Jonathan Crane.’
’…sir, is this a prank call?’
Jon’s a real bastard so i’m gonna throw this into the ring
Phone: “GCPD, what’s your emergency?”
Crane: “I have information that the Joker is currently hiding out in the Laugh Out Loud doll factory in West Gotham.”
Phone: “Thank you. And your name is?”
Crane: “Edward Nygma.”
Phone: “Thank you Mr Nygma. Would you like this tip to remain anonymous?”
Crane: “Nahhh…”(the revenge)
Phone: GPCD, what’s your emergency”
Edward: (using a voice changer) Yes, this is Professor Jonathan Crane. I am the worst professor that has ever graced Gotham’s Educational System. Thank god they fired me–I almost ruined the bright futures of many a student!
Phone: …..do you have an emergency to report Professor Crane?
Edward: Only the fact that I, Professor Jonathan Crane–will never be as successful as the genius Edward Nygma, winner of multiple awards and accolades!Phone: GCPD; What’s your emergency?
Edward: Hello. I would like to report a crime.
Phone: Okay, and what is the crime, sir?
Edward: In a deed most wicked, I, Jonathan Crane, have committed crimes against both Human Decency and Fashion by being not only being terrible at villainy, but also taking my moniker to a painfully literal level, leaving bits of straw everywhere even though I TOLD HIM I JUST VACUUMED THE CAR.
Jervis: And I smell! *snicker* LIKE POO!
Edward: Oh, for Christ’s sake, Jervis! He wouldn’t say POO.
Phone: *sigh* Is this The Riddler again?
Edward: No! No.. It’s the SCARECROW! A name so chilling, it makes my victims wet themselves… or begin singing songs from The Wizard of Oz.
Jervis: …or The Wiz!
Edward: NO ONE KNOWS THE WIZ, JERVIS.
*door crash*Edward: Shit!
Crane: For the last damn time, get outta my damn office you two!
Jervis: Cheese it! It’s the grinch!
Crane: AND STOP PRANK CALLING THE DAMN POLICE.
Monsters' Queen 