you: lipstick lesbian me, an intellectual: sapphora

tell a story

shisno: seekingsquake: catfasteve: once there was a man who drove the train for a living. he loved it; it was something he’d wanted to do since he was a little boy. his favourite part was making the train go as fast as possible. one day, however, because he was going so fast, the train got…

agendershittyknight: actualjackzimmermann: agendershittyknight: actualjackzimmermann: what is the difference between a hippo and a zippo please tell me one is very heavy and the other is a little lighter thank yuo

dailybadjokes: I, for one, like Roman numerals.

annlarimer: richiewhite: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “you’re in here alot, are you an alcoholic?” The horse ponders for a minute and responds “I don’t think I am” And poof he disappears This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, “I think, therefore I…

paradoxicalpotato:

Just end me

livebloggingandreblogging:

blaperile:

quetzy-nest:

Oh my god, on the sudden subject of stealth puns, I just realized that this whole time they’ve been retrieving arms from chest.

This has been a thing since davesprite. I am going to cry.

Oh my fucking god

You’ve got to be KIDDING me

WOW

imlegendarytrash:

Tumblr + Puns

chirotus: eggtrolls: god I’m absolutely going to hell I’m sorry guys  I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread…