if you haven’t seen Cinderella III: A Twist in Time, you are missing out
Thank you for this. I clearly was missing out on a lot in my life. Knowing that this is the guy who Cinderella ends up with makes me feel SO much better about the first one.
Of course this is the kind of asshole who would track down a girl based on 1 night of dancing and a lost shoe. Why didn’t we think of this? Well played, Mickey, well played.
Tag: ….what?
oh-mother-of-darkness: Anyway the city of Gotham definitely thinks that Damian murdered Tim Evidence: The Waynes are ridiculously rich, and the kids are going to inherit millions The kids would inherit more millions apiece if there were fewer of them A suspiciously large portion of Bruce Wayne’s children have perished in bizarre accidents (did Dick Grayson murder… Continue reading
the-man-who-sold-za-warudo: filthyshitpostingfujoshi: filthyshitpostingfujoshi: joner: waluigf: joner: Name one person who jacks off more than me this guy I said a PERSON, not a legend THE GOD RETURNS TO MY DASH ooh I almost forgotFun Facts about Masanobu He has at least one two hour jack off training sessions each day while his GF cooks breakfast… Continue reading
You guys, you must stop doing this. You must. We cannot keep yelling at you about it because it makes us so angry, and we are already angry all the time, about real things, like how our lives are turning into a real world Handmaid’s Tale, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha ha ha ha ha. We cannot keep spending our energy being mad at mediocre men for writing mediocre books that inexplicably win awards and that people tell us to read, for some fucking godawful who knows reason.
So men. My guys. My dudes. My bros. My writers. I am begging you to help me here. When you have this man in your workshop, you must turn to him. You must take his clammy hands in yours. You must look deep into his eyes, his man eyes, with your man eyes, and you must say to him, “Peter, I am a man, and you are a man, so let us talk to each other like men. Peter, look at the way you have written about the only four women in this book.” And Peter will say, trying to free his hands, “What? These are sexy, dynamic, interesting women.” And you must grip his hands even tighter and you must say to him, “ARE THEY, PETER? Why are they interesting? What are their hobbies? What are their private habits? What are their strange dreams? What choices are they making, Peter? They are not making choices. They are not interesting. What they are is sexy, and you have those things confused, and not in the good way where someone’s interestingness makes them become sexy, like Steve Buscemi or Pauline Viardot. Why must women be sexy to be interesting to you? The women you don’t find sexy are where, Peter? They are invisible? They are all dead?” He is trying to escape! Tighten your grasp. “Peter, look at this. I mean, where to begin. ‘She could have been any age between eighteen and thirty-five?’ There are no other ages, I guess? Do you know what eighteen-year-olds really look like, in life? Do you know what thirty-SEVEN-year-olds look like, god forbid? And not that this is even the point, but why are these supposedly sexy and dynamic and interesting women BOTHERING with your boring garbage ‘on the skinny side of average’ protagonist? Why did you write it like this, Peter?”
And maybe Peter will say at last, “I don’t know.” Maybe he will be silent for a long long long time, and then maybe he will say, “I guess it’s scary and difficult for me to imagine the interiority of women because then i would have to know that my mother had an interiority of her own: private, petty, sexually unstimulating, strange: unrelated to me and undevoted to my needs. That sometimes I was nothing to my mother, just as sometimes she is nothing to me. That I was not at all times her immediate concern.”
“I know, Peter,” you can tell him gently.
“I don’t want to know that my mother was a human being with an internal life, because to know that would be to risk a frightening intimacy with her,” Peter will say, maybe. “Because to know that would be to know that she was only a small, complicated person, no bigger or smaller than I am, and I am so small. To know how alone she was. How alone I am. How alone we all are. That my mother survived with no resources more mysterious than my own. And yet she gave me life. My God: she gave me life. How can I pay her back for that? And how can I forgive her for it? How can I ever repay her for the good and the evil of it, my life, every day of my life?” He will be sobbing probably. “I am frightened of her. I am frightened of loneliness. I am frightened of dying. O God. My God. I didn’t know. I didn’t know.” Drool will run from his mouth as he cries. The way babies cry. He will be ashamed. You must hold him. You must say, “Shh, Peter. Shh.” Wrap your man arms around him. Hum into his thin hair as your own mother hummed once into your own sweet-smelling baby scalp. Kiss him gently on his mouth. There. You did it, men. You fixed sexism. Thank you. You’re the real hero here, as always, you men, and your special man powers, for making art.
#NO OFFENSE BUT LIKE#would it have hurt to ask first#he literally has anxiety re: being handed things#he was mutilated against his will while awake#he spent actual months at gun point#during which time he was physically shoved around AND TORTURED#he was paralyzed by his surrogate father figure who then proceeded to rip his life-giving heart device directly off his chest WHILE#threatening 1) the world and 2) his best friend in his name#liiiiiiike……#i certainly wouldn’t praise IM2 for its good writing#but the fact that the mcu fandom takes this sort of thing as Displays of Badassery coming from natasha#is just beyond annoying#because she’s been watching him self-destruct knowing that he’s dealing (badly) with a terminal condition and she most likely has full#access to tony’s history as a POW so she’s either so clueless so as not to realize#something as EXTREMELY INVASIVE AS INJECTING A FOREIGN SUBSTANCE INTO SOMEONES BODY WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT#would likely trigger an EXTREMELY DANGEROUS /AND/ WARRANTED PHYSICAL REACTION FROM THE VICTIM#especially if the victim has tony’s history#(like she is lucky tony didn’t straight up blast her face off the guy is DONNING ARMOR)#OR she gives absolutely zero fucks. like zero fucks. past the point where it’s cute or Badass#but actually nearly inhumane#and tbh don’t give me the talk like ‘it’s a life-saving substance and he wouldn’t have trusted her otherwise!’#like yes dude INDEED it is a life-saving substance which tony not only accepted but he asked for more#so like#‘yes hello tony i had you hire me under false pretenses; i invaded your safe spaces while psychologically screening you without your consent#but like now that the truth is out and there’s absolutely no need for me to be grievously invasive: how about we inject this HARMLESS AND#HELPFUL SUBSTANCE INTO YOUR VEINS IN ORDER TO HELP YOU#seems a GOOD WAY TO START EARNING YOUR TRUST BACK SO WE CAN GO ON TO BE TEAMMATES WITHOUT ASSUMING YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE AND TRUST LITERALLY#EVERYONE EVEN THOUGH WE’VE TREATED YOU LIKE A PUPPET THAT SPITS OUT MONEY’#yikes i went Off i’m SORRY#tony stark @knightinironarmor
Have a sad CLAMP Birthday!
Thank you!!!
shitpostgenerator: please do not help garlic
celynbrum: thesummoningdark: rhys1812: an-apes-number-2: samuel-vimes: thesummoningdark: rhys1812: Just thinking that I kinda want to take the “Great” out of Great Britain. Kinda feels like bragging especially as we’re not that great any more. I mean, you don’t get “Très Bien France”“Vortrefflich Deutschland” We should crowdsource a new adjective. Personally I think Adequate Britain has a nice ring to… Continue reading
A few updates about “Good Morning, Alice,” the greatest and most enigmatic 2-minute horror-suspense film of our time
teapotsahoy: sashayed: Good morning, colleagues. Welcome to the first annual symposium on that deranged TOUS jewelry ad starring Gwyneth Paltrow. I have received a number of excellent questions, points of reference and theories on this haunting work. Some of them I have shared, and I would like to detail a few more, for scholarship. 1.… Continue reading A few updates about “Good Morning, Alice,” the greatest and most enigmatic 2-minute horror-suspense film of our time
Monsters' Queen 