on Andrew, Neil and the “boyfriend” thing

burningfairytales:

Kaylie: Real talk tho
how to Neil and Andrew refer to each other?

Or
Andrew probably doesn’t, but how does Neil refer to Andrew?
“Boyfriend” just doesn’t seem to cut it?
And now I’m imagining Neil  going “Andrew’s my-” then frowning. 
“My-” Vague gesturing. 
“He’s my – my Andrew.”
(Meanwhile Andrew is just like “this asshole” when it comes to Neil.) 

Sasha: they would for sure not say boyfriend!!
(I love Neil being confused, like “this is Andrew, he’s my…. Andrew?”)
(Andrew probably has various elaborate introductions.
“this is my parole officer, Neil.”
“this is Neil, I’m his sober sponsor.”
“this is a male escort I hired for today, Neil.”)

Kaylie: i’m too busy laughing
because fuck yeah andrew
oh my god 

Sasha: Andrew is such a huge nerd like he would totally be that guy 

Kaylie: HE SO WOULD BE 

Sasha: OR he would finish Neil’s sentence with something ridiculous
 "this is Andrew, he’s my….“

 ”…….tax consultant.“ 

Kaylie: (and he’d totally do it because he sees Neil is nervous about it but fuck if he’s ever gonna admit to that one.) 

OH MY GOD
MY MIND IS GOING PLACES
STOP ME IF YOU GET UNCOMFORTABLE 

Sasha: GOOD 

Kaylie: NEIL CALLS
[ANDREW “MY ANDREW” BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY
AND ANDREW – HE’D NEVER ADMIT IT
AND HE CERTAINLY DOESN’T LIKE LIKING IT
BUT HE DOES???? 

Sasha: YES 

Kaylie: LIKE NEIL BEING POSSESSIVE OF HIM?
EVEN IF JUST UNINTENTIONALLY?

HE’S NOT SUPPOSED TO LIKE IT
AND LIKE, SAY THEY’RE AT ONE OF THOSE BANQUETS
DON’T THINK ABOUT ANDREW GRABBING NEIL’S WRIST AND PULLING HIM INTO THE BATHROOM
TO DO EXACTLY YOU KNOW WHAT 

Kaylie: (sin squad is changing me. ohm y god.)

Sasha: OHMYGOOOOOOD YES
omg and the more insulting the thing Andrew calls Neil the happier Neil looks because he knows it’s just Andrew trying to distance himself from the word boyfriend like sometimes Neil’s his driver. but then sometimes Neil’s his stalker, please get him away from me and Neil’s just like “heart eyes motherfucker" 

and then one day Neil’s just like “he’s my….. fuck it, he’s the guy who’s been keeping me in his basement for years now. call the police” and Andrew GLARES AND SNARLS AN EXCUSE ME AND DRAGS NEIL OFF WITH A HAND AROUND THE COLLAR OF HIS SHIRT AND IS JUST LIKE ‘what the actual fuck josten you can’t just say things like that I cannot – I hate you sO MUCH’
(he doesn’t)
they do exactly what you think after Andrew drags him away)
(next time Neil introduces him as a one night stand)
(all of these introductions are made even more ridiculous by the very public knowledge that they have been teammates since college) 

 Kaylie: YES YES YES YES
OH MY GOD YES
and the people stare at them because
“should we do something?”
“didn’t he basically say the small guy has been holding him hostage?"